Sam went to camp a few weeks back and following his experience I decided to post a list titled 3 REASONS YOU NEVER TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO CAMP

Reason 3: It is hard to hit on the very pretty and friendly camp counselor when your mother is always right behind you, adding her two cents (such as "think again, buddy").  Especially when you try to convince previously mentioned camp counselor to sleep in a tent with you "as friends". 

Reason 2: All you want to do is stand up and dance with a pretty lady.  That's it.  Is that so much to ask.  So what if you are in a wheelchair for a REASON (such as not having terrific balance and a crazy left leg).  Sometimes you just need to get down and get funky...like right on the floor...on the leg of the lady you were dancing with...with much hooting and hollering from friends that are now surrounding you as you lay  like a (giant) fish on the floor.  And here comes your mother, running across the room, acting like you SHOULDN'T have been out of your wheelchair (even though you had promised her 30 seconds before that you would NOT undo your seatbelt or get out of your chair and stop nagging what do you think I am CRAZY?).  Yep.  Turns out my brother is crazy, after all.

And the TOP reason never to take your mother with you to camp...

What was her real motive for going to camp with you?  Was it to make sure you were safe?  Or was it to hang out with YOUR friends and flirt like the harlot she is.  Imagine this...your mother is pushing you down a steep hill to the lake.  She stops when she sees one of your friends.  She claimed later that "they needed help".  Likely story.  More likely is the fact that your mother STEALS all your camp friends.  So she lets go of your wheelchair and turns to talk to YOUR friend.  But you are not aware of any of this until later.   You continue to roll toward the lake while your mother remains at the top of the hill, her back turned to your plight.  You roll a little faster, but still with a smile on your face, unaware that you are being pushed by NO ONE.  But when you hit the sand your happy, wheeling progress is immediately stopped.  Your wheelchair is thrown violently sideways and you land (once again) like a fish out of water.  Only this time it isn't your fault.  What the heck (you might say).  And, still thinking your mother was pushing you the entire time you might be concerned that she had a stroke.  But then you look back up the hill, everything tilty and weird due to your sideways vantage point.  And you spot your mother STILL AT THE TOP OF THE HILL.  You stare viciously at your mother's unconcerned back as she chats with someone else, unaware that her son is spread out like a beached whale. 

Note:  While the "racing madly out of control down the hill" did really happen, my mother's intention might not have been to hit on my brother's young friends with total disregard for her injured son.  Could have been due to total emotional and physical exhaustion on the part of the critical care mom.  But being tired is NOT as interesting as being a Scarlet woman preying on young, head injured men.  That is much more interesting.

Bec