Left behind.  That's me.  Remember all the scary movies where there is only one person left.  Where everyone else has been chopped to bits and the only one left is running, terrified and totally left behind.  Yeah.  That's me (minus the killing chopped to bits part).  They have all left me and flown away to California.  My mom, dad, Heather and Sam are gone and I am alone...in Michigan....laying in the freezing snow.  Okay, I'm not laying in the snow, but, the point is, I could be.  I just might be and they would never know...because they are in 75 degree California, traipsing (and rolling) around like a bunch of vagabonds.  Whale watching, hanging out at the pier, looking at the barking seals, eating in expensive restaurants, rubbing elbows with celebrities (by which, I mean they might be kind of close to a celebrity.  They are not literally taking their elbow and rubbing it on some famous person.  That would just get them arrested).   Nice, huh?  And my dad said, "We will email you with updates and pictures every day."  Ask me if I have gotten so much as an electronic hello.  Nope.  You hit the sun and surf and it just blows all thoughts of your oldest child right out of your head.  Becca?  Who?  Never heard of her.  Yeah, they are too busy being tan and important people.  Must be nice.  I'm just pasty and insignificant.  I spend my days wearing a bulky winter coat, reading a biography about Rasputin and drinking Chi Tea.  And changing diapers.  And being thrown up on by babies.  And having three year olds tell you that they don't like you so much and they would like a new mother, thank you very much.  And when I call them I hear lots of fun noises and laughter in the background.  And it makes me grit my teeth and do a very dissatisfied face.

So...the point of this whole post is to let you know that everyone left me and went to California and I don't think that is very nice at all.  (Heather had a doctor's appointment in California and then, like it does in my family, it turned into Heather-Sam-Mom-Dad have a vacation/doctor's appointment in California).  I do know that it isn't all sunshine and happiness...Heather has made a few desperate phone calls to me concerning a certain member of the family's typical obnoxious vacation behavior.  I'll give you a hint.  This person is very tall.  And has grey hair.  And a mustasche.  And his name starts with a"J"and ends with an "M".  And there might be an "i" in there somewhere.  This person's behavior on vacation has turned into the stuff of family legend.  Seriously.  And he doesn't even realize how terrible he is.  But, alas, that is a post for another day.

So get a picture in your head.  Go ahead.  Close your eyes.  Now imagine a very sunny, warm place, waves lapping and crashing onto the shore.  A few random sea lions making really loud sea-lion-noises.  And imagine my entire immediate-extended family standing there.  Perhaps looking out into the Pacific, silhouetted against the setting sun.  And now see me...standing, surrounded by ice chunks, broken, naked trees behind me, the wind gusts and whips my coat open and, maybe, my hat flies away.  And then I slowly, every so slowly, close my eyes and crumple into the pile of snow.

See...they should have taken me with them.

Now they will be sorry.

Very sorry.

Jerks.

Bec (Who is 33 but sometimes acts like she is 12)