Some background on why my family should be banned from California...
Last year my wonderful parents and my brother offered to go to California with me for my doctor appointment. Here is where I should be swearing a blue streak. It was awful. Like, I almost jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge awful. Okay I didn't almost but I'm sure that would have been more pleasurable!
Now, I have traveled with my mom and we have a lot of fun together. I have traveled with good old Sam and we have had fun together. Although my dad is a good fellow with good intentions, he travels like cheese. Imagine taking a hunk of cheddar cheese, unrefrigerated, mind you, on a week long trip. Think about how it would be effecting you by the end of the trip. People stare with noses slightly upturned. You have an unexplicable headache all the time. You feel slightly ill and find yourself making excuses just to get away from the cheese, if only for a moment. Yet at the same time, you feel guilty about leaving those you love alone with the cheese. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, wouldn't be here if he wasn't. But I swear, by the grace of God, I will NEVER travel with him again.
Let's go over some of the highlights (look back in the blog because Bec did write about this).
Ooooh guys, let us go on a Whale Watch, that will be exciting. You agree? Until the ship starts pitching back and forth and Sam is rocking wildly side to side with Heather and Mom simutaneously, knuckles white, knees clenched on wheels, holding on for dear life while Jim smokes a cigarette and walks around. Suddenly, Heather is left holding Sam solo because my mom is ever so demurly, pukin' over the side.
Whew, on the China Town for dinner. We followed my mom's ever standing vacation advice to go to the busiest restaurant because, it must be good. Man was she right, the BEST place I have ever eaten! That evening Sam proceded to have a siezure. So, we visited the local hospital because, heck, why not!
We'll do a little poem to tell you about the rest:
My mom was popping pills
As we climbed the lovely hills.
Was she having an attack?
My dad I just might smack.
Get Sam to the shore.
In the car my dad snores.
As my mom is the one to steer.
We drank some Chineese beer.
A waft of stink came our way.
Same got some new pjs.
Thank god I am home.
I will next time travel alone!
The reason they are going to CA is the following:
Sam being the super, wonder, miracle boy that he is has been invited to come to California and possibly be the spokesman for this thingie he uses on his leg (I know, I shouldn't use such techincal jargon, people might get confused). So they have invited a few candidates to come out and see who will be the chosen one. He might be on tv and stuff.
So, God help California and God help the Howells because the Grizwalds have NOTHING on us!
Heath